Two years of promised silence with the occasional communication in special circumstances. Everything was swimming along. It wasn't perfect but I could survive. You were once my dream; my hope; the one I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I was ready for "ever after" with you.

I never thought that we would
break up for the better
Should've never made the
promises to each other
So many things I should've said
that you didn't know
Coming in from a past with a heavy load

And now, I'm wondering if I should have fought for you. In my heart, you were the best; I'm scared that you're the only. I never met anyone who looked as fine as you in my eyes or anyone who treated me so well. There were days where you drove me nuts with your reticence. Ultimately, you broke the promise you made to me.

But I knew that you were a good man
Give me love, you were faithful
- It showed on my hand
I know there are questions in
your mind you don't understand

I asked you to go into conventry eventhough I still wanted to maintain our friendship. I still check up on you through indirect means. My heart bleeds when I know something has happened to you. And for two years, I just never really moved on despite the separate lives.

So I search in my mind,
trying to figure it out
And thought I was happy but
I'm having some doubts
Think I found the answer
and I know I must confess
I'm still in love with my ex

When you said you think you may be interested in someone else, I could feel my heart crumble; D Day was here and someone else is going to take that special place in your heart. You say you're sad that you couldn't give me what you promised and you wished things were different. So do I. I wish you hadn't moved on before me.

I'm staring out at the sky (I see you baby)
Praying that he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams
(right here) yea-yeah
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems
How does he laugh? How does he cry?
What's the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I'm here?
Where is he? Where is he?
Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he?
Who is gonna take me so high?

-"Where are you?" (Natalie Feat Roman)

I know I've sort of moved on but in my heart, I don't think I really have. But now that you have, it's time I did. The prospects are bleak now (I found out recently that another good man has been taken) but we'd see how it goes. Let's see the stage of desperation/boredom I'm in this summer and the depths I sink to.