A Black Sweater (English Translation)

A black sweater
The memories of two people
After the rain has passed
It is even harder to forget
Forget that I still love you
You don’t have to mind
The tears only just happened to be falling
I was already waiting at the bottom of the valley long ago
I know I cannot keep you from leaving anymore
And I know I must have a backbone
I am thankful to you
For letting me possess the beauty of autumn
Watching that white dragonfly
In the air it forgets to go forward
Can I still
Reweave
The memories that are pilling in my mind
Say I love you again
Perhaps the rain won’t stop
The black sweater
Where is it hidden?
Then just let the memories stop there forever

-Jay Chou

Today was such a long day. I can't believe I'm still up. After a full morning of doing assignments and talking to my best friend, Estee, on the phone at the same time, I rushed off to uni for classes. Incidentally, Estee, if you are reading this, I hate you. How can you rub it in that you're watching sitcoms while I'm slogging away?!?!??!?! Ok, fine. I don't hate you. How can I hate you? You're too loveable. Teehee.

This week's MPS seminar was excruciatingly boring and the challenge to stay awake as I sit in the front row was extremely hard. I wish I could say that I went home after that and had a hot shower and fell into bed. Instead, I went to Alan Gilbert to meet Sami to do our assignment. Why do I have two assignments due on Friday????? ARGH!!!!!!!!!! Just walking to Alan Gilbert killed me. It was so freaking cold. I hate winter. I hate it, I hate it. By the time I got there, even the ample warmth of the building wasn't enough to thaw me out.

Fortunately for me, the perpetual cold hands-sufferer, I have found something better than a space heater - body heat! Specifically, Sami's hands are soooooo warm AND he's kind enough to lend them to me so I can thaw my hands out. *LOL* I know, it's terrible of me to exploit my friends but I figure it's a fair trade. I let Sami call me a 'control freak' and he can be kind enough to thaw my hands out for me. Ok, I'm sounding a bit illogical here but forgive me, when it comes to rational coherent thought, there's only one expression left for it: "Elvis has left the building..."

Still, the important part is that we got our part done! Yay! AND IT'S NO THANKS TO A CERTAIN WANKER WHO HAS DONE NOTHING EVENTHOUGH IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM EFFORT! Hopefully, Piotr won't need much help piece-ing it together and we can hand it in on Friday with minimal trouble. Now, I just need to focus on my MM assignment. Oh dear sweet GOD, I really need a miracle to pull this through. I don't want to fail this assignment.

I've been so wigged out that I made carrot cake cupcakes in the shape of hearts when I got home. Unfortunately, they didn't come out as good as they normally do. How could I put not enough sugar in them? Damn it! Still, at least the flowers on them are pretty, I guess. *SIGH*

Ooooh...An aside! I saw Jay with her boyfriend at safeway before. Hmmm...he seemed nice if vanilla. Ok, I know it's mean to say but it's true! And hey, vanilla can be nice. Whatever rings your bell huh? It did get me thinking about what's going to happen when Jay goes back for good at the end of this semester. They met in a rather romantic manner, so let's hope there's a romantic ending. LDR are really hard. I should know.

Now, if I can drum up the courage to pick up the phone, call him and actually talk to him, I'd be good. But I can't. I know it's the polite thing to do. Even my mum tells me it is the right thing to do. But I just can't. It scares me too much. It's been over a year. I've finally started to get the hang of not holding on and I'm terrified that just hearing him say "Hello?" will be enough to make the fragile pillars I've put up to help me go on, collapse. I think maybe even if he wasn't perfect in reality, he's been immortalized as perfect - THE one - in my mind. It'd be hard for anyone else to measure up.

As they say, you'll never stop loving the first.