I'm dying. Seriously. After Monday's killer session in the gym, I couldn't stretch without my abs aching. After today's session, I can't BREATHE without my abs aching. If Friday continues along the same vein, I think I won't be able to get out of bed on Saturday. Bottomline, no heels this whole week. My muscles are screaming in pain and begging for mercy. In any case, my migration agent sent me an email that has left me in tears of laughter...Considering that my abs already ache, I can assure you that the laughing fits causes pain. Serious pain.

Anyway, the gist of it is that I have to take an IELTS which is basically an English proficiency test for international Students. Trust me, when I read the email I was dumbfolded. I actually sat in stunned silence for a few seconds before the hysterical laughter set in.

HELLO!

In my mind, I have written a mental letter to the Immigration department of Australia...

Dear Australia Immigration Department,

The Singapore Education system is based in English and having gone through 13 (tortuous) years of its educational system, I believe that my command of the language is quite adequate. Further, having sat for the Cambridge GCE 'A' level examinations (It's a freaking exam from ENGLAND, your MOTHERLAND!!!), in which I obtained a 'B' for English literature (I had to bloody read Shakespeare, Chaucer and Dickens not to mention a whole slew of ladida war literature books!) and an 'A2' for General Paper, I believe that I have proved myself to be more than adequately proficient in the English language. For further reference, I have also sat for the SATs (AN AMERICAN EXAM!!!!!!!!!) and obtained a 730 for the verbal/written section of this examination.

After reading the sample questions on the IELTS website, I feel that it's not too bold for me to presume that I should be exempted from this examination: Especially since I already have to pay thousands of dollars for my migration, do I really have to pay an additional $280 for a test I could take in my sleep or pissed drunk?!?!?!?!? (Please excuse me. I can't continue this letter further because the hysterical laughter can no longer be contained.)

Cheers,
XXXX

Disclaimer: above-letter is by no means to be taken as more than a JOKE.